Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tonsillectomy Anyone?

Dear Tonsils,

The countdown has begun. Prepare for your final departure. No longer will your gianormousness plague me by stopping my breath in the hopes to kill me while I sleep. Enjoy your last 8 days of clinging to the back of my throat like the useless parasitic lumps of flesh that you are. When the surgeon cuts you from my body I will not morn your loss but instead I will rejoice in a heavy drug induced fog and welcome the long awaited, uninterrupted deep sleep that has been missing in my life for far too long. Don't forget to take your friends Migraines and Dark Circles under the Eyes with you. I hope you burn in hell little fleshy lumps ... or become some med student's science project.

With deep loathing,
Lazy Bone

3 comments:

Elaine said...

Very funny. Here's to a quick recovery!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jessie Lubyk, said...

Thanks for the chuckle! Will be sending best wishes for a quick and good recovery. Take Care