Dear Lazy Overly Obese Guy who sits in the dungeon down stairs,
You are so fucking lazy I can't belive it!!! I hope you realize everyone knows how useless you are and that you are not fooling anyone. Dude you are on the verge of being fired! All your actions (or lack there of) are being documented and soon they are going to escort your fat ass out the door. Stop calling my desk, I'm not coming to help you do your job while you sit in the corner twittering on your cell phone. Who the fuck cares if you get tweets from Obama. FYI, it is not really him texting you. He has better things to do with his time than to send you love notes. You are a sorry peice of shit and it pisses me off to no end that all you do is complain about your job and how you should get paid more. Get over yourself. Maybe if you actually did your job then you might be in a better position than the entry level piece of shit job you've had for the last 8 years.
I hate you, your stupid fugly face and all your fugly children!